The Solution to the Toilet Paper Crisis

March 15, 2020

The Great Toilet Paper Panic

The crazy woman scrambled out of the restroom holding her hand over her waist like she was hiding something underneath her shirt. Her hair was flying in every direction as she brushed past people waiting in line for their coffee orders. She was in a dash to exit the coffee shop.

Then she tripped over someone’s foot, nearly lost her balance as she dropped her purse. Everyone gasped in horror as a roll of toilet paper popped out of her bag. As she desperately grabbed the mountain of gold lying on the floor, another roll dropped to the floor from beneath her coat. More cries of horror erupted throughout the coffee shop.   

Now, all eyes were on the crazy woman, including the employees.

Cries of indignation and expressions of shock filled the coffee shop as the crazy woman grabbed both pieces of toilet paper and bolted outside holding the two pieces of treasure in either hand. Nobody made a move towards the woman as their eyes followed her into her car. She nearly struck a pedestrian as she drove away.

Had a crazy woman actually stolen toilet paper out of the restroom!!

Toilet Paper Madness

I actually witnessed this event yesterday while sitting at a coffee shop. In retrospect, it wasn’t a surprising turn of events in light of the empty shelves on every store from Target to Walmart to Wholefoods to Sprouts to CVS to Walgreens.

Toilet paper disappears from the shelves by 8 AM each morning. Price gougers plague society by selling a roll of golden toilet paper on Amazon or eBay for $50.

What will we ever do!!!

Brondell Bidet Sprayer

Fear not! I have the solution. And it comes in the form of a purple bottle with a sprayer that I purchased in October 2016. I Iiked the product so much that I bought a spare last year prior to going on a trip to Israel.

Champion Bidet conquers Evil Emperor Toilet Paper

Every time I go on a trip I take the faithful purple Brondell Bidet with me. The Brondell Bidet reviews on Amazon concur with me. This is a great product.

How Does the Brondell Bidet Sprayer Work?

Without getting too graphic the Brondell Bidet is designed to serve as a replacement for toilet paper. You fill the bottle with water, then when you’re finished answering nature’s call you place the bottle in a strategic position inside the toilet, and then squeeze.

Voila!!!! Instant relief and cleanliness that is much more effective and healthy than toilet paper.

Nothing else to it, other than needing a ply to dry.

Take my advice, if you need to wipe thrice, then buy this device.

The purpose of my website was not originally intended for Brondet Bidet reviews; however, the present circumstances facing our society and the world have rendered appropriate such an article. I’d much rather be continuing my series on healthy green powder supplements than dealing with a crisis.

Where Can I Buy Toilet Paper?

Perhaps, the above question doesn’t have to be the most pressing issue facing civilization. If everyone purchased a Brondell Bidet Sprayer or a similar product then perhaps people wouldn’t be hoarding these golden heaps in paper form.

I have used the Bidet every day since my initial purchase in 2006. Next to a Vitamix, the Brondell Bidet Sprayer was perhaps my wisest consumer purchase.

There will be a feeling of cleanliness and relief after the daily (hopefully) call to nature on your throne. The treasure of a golden roll of toilet paper will seem like a pauper’s treasure compared to a Brondell Bidet Sprayer, which should be valued at a price of all the world’s supply of platinum.. (at least amid these dark, turbulent times).

Buy a Brondell Bidet Sprayer by clicking here!

Bidet Attachments

Of course, there are more advanced Bidet products if you’re more serious about the matter. My living situation is in flux so Brondell Bidet Sprayer is a suitable solution.

However, long-term I view these attachments and/or toilet seats as a preferred option. However, for the present emergency, the Bidet bottle is perfect for everyone, including the people who you won’t have to stampede tomorrow morning at Target.

A last word regarding, which strives to provide the best green powder supplement reviews – we will continue to devote articles towards nutrition and various supplements. However, we found it our duty to let the public know about the Brondell Bidet solution to their toilet paper woes.

Please Note – Do not flush any paper products that aren’t toilet paper down the toilet.  It will create a backup and cause severe health problems

Spread the word!!  Don’t fall victim to the toilet paper shortage.

Perhaps this article could be instructive on how green powder supplements could benefit your health.

Only registered users can comment.

  1. This is a very clever idea. I enjoyed reading this especially considering how hard it is to find TP right now. Nice intro story as well. I thought that was funny. Very informative article. Thank you!

  2. Well this is a timely post! In all seriousness thanks for this information. I was not aware that there is even such a thing as a portable bidet sprayer! To me it’s a great alternative, especially in this time of great toiler paper crisis and shortage! Not to be overly graphic but, when using the bidet sprayer does it leave residue in the bowl or under the seat?


    1. hi,
      sometimes you can get a little residue on the seat but nothing severe… but it’s not often.
      In terms of inside the bowl, I haven’t noticed any excessive residue related to its use.

      The overall comfort level is worth the $10 alone.

  3. Bidets are the best. The most environment-friendly way to stay clean. It is not only more hygienic compared to the toilet paper but also saves trees 🙂 Thank you for taking this crisis to educate the people.

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